Hello everyone! Good morning to all! Thanks again for the lovely comments and emails. Speaking of emails... I got one this morning from a regular reader of this blog. He wrote to tell me his story as a married man who lusts after guys. This is not the first time I've gotten emails from someone in this situation.
He is in his early 40's married and 2 kids, had one man on man relationship before he met his wife...and now he knows he wants to have sex with men. He sounded very sad because he loves his wife and kids and does not want to hurt them. Ok..... I am not someone with all the answers. All I can talk about is what I feel and what I think is the right thing to do. As a Buddhist, I know we are to do no harm to another person. But what about doing harm to yourself? Being a kind and loving Husband and Father is very admirable, but is it not most important to be true to yourself? I really think so. I really feel that in this life we MUST be who we are. He must find the way to let go of the marriage and set himself free. Is hurting a loved one more pain full than hurting yourself? I think not.
I know that quite a few of my readers are in the exact same situation. I would like to know what the rest of you think. Leave your comments please!
Today/s photos are just a few totally beautiful pictures of lovely guys and guys doing lovely things with each other.
Da Dick of Da Day
He does need to consider his children--and his wife--before he decides to break up his family. My wife suspected that I might be gay--she asked me--I denied it--a few years later she asked me again--this time I did not deny it. My children were out of high school, in college--at the time. We lived separately because of her job out of town. After a few years apart we divorced quietly. We are still family--we had three children together--we have two grandsons--I'm still included in her family's reunions. There was and is no rancor. She has remarried and I am in a relationship. I do know that an amicable solution is not always possible, but in our families we had gay friends and co-workers. In our church gays were accepted fully.
ReplyDeleteI stopped reading at 'before he met his wife'
ReplyDeleteI probably shouldn't judge but I can't help but think coward.
I am all for getting into a relationship with a boy or a girl whilst you experiment and play the field. Getting married to someone, well that's when you should make your move!
It is hard to comment on ths, not being in his shoes. But seems that it is so wrong on so many levels. Lying and hiding who you are is just plain wrong.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think as a wife i'm open minded enough to listen to my husbands feeling and either set him free to be himself or be opened to the idea of incorporating his needs into our relationship. I would hope that I would not be mean or broken hearted enough to want to inflicted long pain and suffering on him but who knows as i've never been faced with this. hope you are having a good day. wish i could say i was but life has a way of sneaking up on you.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Respect the family and maintain a civil relationship. You created teh children and must show you love them, even at a sacrifice to your own feelings.
ReplyDeleteIt's better for him to be honest with his wife than to go and secretly meet up with other men like many married men do.
ReplyDelete